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Chapter 8

Thursday, Dec. 15.

            This day was more of a disaster than yesterday.  I have the strong urge to leave, but I haven’t decided what to do yet.  Reliving the day in this writing will help me decide.  I’ll try to write as accurately as possible what I remember.  I fully expect hearing family and friends reminding me how they urged me not to leave home and business behind in the first place, but I will only live once.  I wanted to learn to farm and meet people.  I may have somehow failed.  The fact is though, here I am.  Getting ribbed is the least of my worries.  It’s decision time.

            All previous days pale in comparison to this one as far as an eye opening experience.  God had built me up and prepared me for the things I’m about to write about.  The morning was as usual, cold in my room and damp outside.  I got up at 5:30 to see if I could see Wayne feed the cattle.  In the dairy I found Thomas’s mother already up milking the cows.  Wayne had already fed the cattle.  So I went to Fellowship Hall and sat next to the wood stove to warm up until the people started rolling in at about 7:15.  I was in a good mood in spite of recalling the past week’s events.  

            The sun was coming up bright, so I knew there would be a lot of good work to do.  People greeted me in with familiar tones as they came in.  The men worked hard yesterday, and they looked tired and hungry.  Dave gave only a short speech, noting the mood of the men, reminding us that there was still a lot of wood and corn to round up, and how important it is not to miss any corn as we go along the rows and to improve our dismal performance.  The people ate in near silence as the men anticipated another tough day ahead.

2

            Shortly after eating, the men gathered in the patio area and sat in the various chairs which line the edges for an after breakfast chat.  I sat at the picnic table located along the west side of the patio, Dave sat in a rocker to my left, and Wayne sat in a chair to my right.  The rest of the men were sitting opposite from me along the wall of the Hall.  I could see everyone from where I sat.  I didn’t take note of it then, but Dennis was not there.  It is important for later.  In fact Dennis was seldom present when Dave decided to get into his moods.

            All was quiet and we were all relaxing when Dave decided to liven things up. He was rocking back and forth in his chair giving small talk to the guys while I sat quietly listening and day dreaming of sorts. Suddenly Dave turned his full attention toward me.  This section I will write as a play letting the words speak for themselves.  Dave unpredictably began:

Dave:   Brother Mark.  Would you like me to leave you alone... or do you want to go on to glory?    (He stops rocking and cocks his head sideways, puts his lips together and puffs them up waiting for my response.  Everyone got quiet.)

Me:      (I gave Dave a curious unshaken look. What was he up to?)  Now that’s quite a loaded question.

Dave:   No it’s not.  It’s simple.  I leave you alone and you go to hell.  If I don’t leave you alone... you go on to perfection.  Which is it you want?  

            (I became silent and emotionless not ready to answer.  In my eyes he was pitiful as he attempted to waste time on these games.  His face took on a devil’s mask as I postponed answering.  His voice with anger and an unbearable drawl continued to be scornful)

Dave:   You see, we here are all going on to the Kingdom.  (He stood up and pointed to the sky for effect.)  In this place is perfection because we’re seeking it daily!  Ain’t a man here doesn’t want to be here.  (He sat down.)  Now you’re here to decide if you’re going to fit into the body or go to hell.

Others: Amen.  Praise y’r name. Truth!

Dave:   What do you think keeps these men here... and in line?  (He was getting reckless.  He was overconfident that he had me in a hole.)   Why, we’ve got keys in every vehicle here.  There’s a back pack hanging right there in the shed.  Any one of these men can leave any time he wants.  We won’t stop him.  He can have the truck.   (Short pause.  I remain still, watching him closely.)  You think I’m against you!

Me:      Yes I do.

Dave:   That’s your problem... you’re thinking again.  You don’t think.  You’re not supposed to think.  Do you think that when you’re in the Kingdom that you’re going to say to God, “I think...”?  Do you believe you’re going to have it your way there?  Brother, I’m not against you, but I am over you - and you’d better know that!  (He looks toward Wayne.)  Brother Wayne, do you ever think for yourself?

Wayne: No.  I only seek what God wants.  I’m looking for perfection.

Others: Glory!  Praise y’r name.  Truth!  Truth!  Glory to God!

Dave:   You see, I have had to get on every man here.  Haven’t I Brother Wayne?

Wayne:             Oh yeah.  

Dave:   And Brother Wayne and I... we’ve nearly come to blows. But when it was all over, here’s what happened, watch.  (Dave and Wayne hopped up and met in the middle, hug each other and sat back down.  A splendid performance.)  

Others: Glory to God.

Marc:  (Jumps out of his seat into the air.)  Hallelujah!

Dave:   I have a list about 27 long, and after that I stopped counting, of men like you who’ve come by.  (He paused.)  You can’t fool me.  I’ve talked to too many people to know you’re not even listening to me.  Oh, you may say so, but you’re not.  All these brothers here are good men.  They work hard and they do it out of love.  Do you believe that?  (I sat listening, but I answered to nothing. )  Silence...?  For once you’re being silent.  But go ahead.  You can answer that one.  

Me:      (I glinted as I observed the skill at which he manipulated the stage.  I answered directly and to the point.  He asked for it.  He is more a fool than Stair is.)  You’re setting me up.

Dave:   Setting you up? How many times have we heard that one Brother Simon?

Simon:  Lots.  Truth!

Dave:   Setting you up. You really believe that?  Why I could have you out of here just by pointing my finger like that.  

Me:      And that’s what holds the others to do what they do.

Dave:   What?!

Me:      For fear.

Dave:   Fear?!  Fear?!  That holds them in line?  Why any one of these men could whip me.  Don’t let my big size fool you.  God knows I don’t have any strength in my hands.  If I was to hit one of these guys, I’d be crying for days over my soft hands...  So that’s what you think huh?  (He stood up.)  You’re going to hell.  Yes you are.  I know you.  I do know you.  Brothers, don’t I know him?

Others: Truth!  Praise y’r name.

Dave:   And you’re carnal man.  You’re of the flesh.  You’d better get spiritual and seek protection!  No if I go to heaven and learn I am wrong and see you there, I’ll say praise God.  I want you there.  But the way you are, you’re going to hell.  Don’t think you can just gallivant through here like you did in Texas thinking you helped the people there.  Thinking you helped Brother Ben... thinking you’re useful... thinking you’re called of God.  This ain’t hotel Texas.  No.  (He sat down.)  

Me:      Very good.  Now you seek to insult me.

Dave:   I don’t mean to insult you, and if I did, I’m sorry.  In the Kingdom you won’t have feelings.  Feelings are useless.  What are you going to say to God, ‘ Oh God, don’t insult me’?  I know you and I told the truth about the Texas deal.  Otherwise you’d still be there.  

Me:      It has not got any thing to do with feelings.

Dave:   Yeah it do.  Bible says feelings are vanity.  Ain’t that right Brother Enoch.  

Enoch:  Amen.  Praise the Lord.  Vanity!

Dave:   We want to have two hundred people living here soon.  We’re making room for it.  All going for the glory of the Kingdom.  This farm was nothing when we started eight years ago.  I’m determined to make it work.  If any of you are against me, then you’re against the Prophet, and if your against the Prophet, you’re against God.  You’ll learn that I am never wrong brother.

            Dave’s public ridicule of me had no effect on my good mood, however in what little I said, I caused great fear in him.  I was on guard for any next move against me he might make.  His attitude was unpredictable.  After all, I had just taken a bold step to allude that it is not free will keeping many of these people here which Dave was bound to reflect upon as the day progressed.  Since his whole emotional stability rests in this farm, he is bound to consider that truth as a personal attack.  The big show lasted a little longer when finally he said to me, “So you can go to hell if you want to.”  Much insult was levied from Dave at me.  

            We assembled ourselves to go and get more of the wood off the side of the road where we working on last night.  Dave wasn’t going with us this time because he had to talk to a lady about tearing down an old house for the scrap wood, so he walked out with Wayne to give him work orders for us.  As we followed them out of the patio down the narrow pathway between the kitchen and the round shed toward the parked vehicles, Dave was continuing to speak to Wayne about how he is a forgiving person.  I heard him say, 

            “I’m supposed to be forgiving, or God won’t for give me.  Let me show you here...” and he turned at me “...what I am capable of.”  Dave reached out to grab me as I was passing by.  His intention was to show off his “superior” forgiveness ability using me by giving me an embrace!

            I reacted immediately to his approach and pushed him away saying, “Get away.”

            Dave became furious.  His attempt to grand stand was not to be.  He drew near again and got in my face, but I stood my ground ready to act quickly.  “You’d better damn well hug my neck!” he insisted.  I pushed him back again. “Ah forget it!  Go to hell you! “ he shouted.

            “I’m not the one with the problem here,” I said.

            “What’d ya think I was going to do fool?  Rape you?  Molest you?  Make love to you in front of all these guys?  Go straight to hell!”  He turned and got into his car saying to the guys, “You all go get the wood.  Ignore this one, I’ve had it.”  

            Again, amazingly, I was undaunted.  I stayed and went to work with the guys, and in fact, Wayne slapped me on the arm as if to show approval for my strength.  I give all credit  to God.  

3

            A telephone call came which delayed Dave’s and our departure.  It was from Ralph Stair.  He wanted us to take two billy goats from the Farm to the Camp Ground.  They were to be loaned to breed the neighbor’s goats.  One of the target billys was timid and proved to be a tough catch.  

            The goat was held in a muddy forested area.  All the men were needed to surround the goat and chaise him into a narrow area.  Dennis, who had returned from his errand, also lent a hand.  We chased the intelligent illusive goat through the woods and cornered him.  Frightened, the goat jumped the fence and would have escaped.  But Dennis, who was right there, leaped from the fence and landed onto the goat.  He wrestled the struggling goat, but grabbed by the horns and beard, the goat could not escape.  The goat was lead to the caged trailer where the other goat was waiting.  That was a fun chaise!

            Then we went to get the wood.  Again loading the logs was very hard work.  I didn’t use Doug’s rubber boots today, so my shoes got filled with cold mud and water.  The attitude of the other men toward me did not change to reflect this morning’s exchange.  They may have discounted it, or were at a loss to how to treat me.  Dave came by an hour later in another truck, picked up Wayne, and went off to get the fallen cherry wood he saw down the road.  I am told that cherry wood is valuable for its cold remedy in a tea.  

            We returned to the farm later with an enormous load of wood to cut.  The truck was stopped along the lower loop road where Dave had decided to stack the pile as it was cut off the trailer.  Again, only the select few - Simon, Wayne, Enoch and Dave - were aloud to operate the saws.  

            Actually, I was having a lot of fun.  We started cutting and stacking in an assembly line fashion.  Some of the logs were big and needed to be split rather than cut.  Tim went and got two splitters from the shops.  We all had fun taking turns swinging at the logs.  I did pretty good, and learned some tricks as well.  I was once again feeling that the guys were accepting me.  You know, even Marc showed up to stack wood and try splitting some.  I was quite surprised.

            But at about 11:00, as we were working, a young black man was walking toward us down the road.  This was to mark beginning of another round between myself and Dave.  The man’s dress and manner of walking announced loudly that he was foreign to the country setting.  Dennis and I were working together and he saw the man from afar and pointed him out to me.  “Look there brother Mark,” he said nudging me, “there’s a real city boy coming down the road.  Look at that.  You only see the brothers wearing that kind of hat in the Bronx, the inner city!”

            “Yeah, I like those hats, don’t you?” I replied.

            “Yeah, wonder what he wants.”

            The man came close and Dave greeted him.  His name is Ray, a Christian man from New England.  He had heard Stair on the radio and got curious about him, so Ray took his vacation to come here to meet Stair.  Stair was indisposed at the Camp Ground, so Ray was sent to the Farm.  Ray has brought his wife and two children with him.  He is a tall slender fellow about 6’ 1’’, and about 190 pounds.  He has a good looking face with a well trimmed mustache and goatee, and was wearing stylish casual city clothes.  I later learned that he has a great personality and is extremely observant and intelligent.  His speech pattern and thought processes are such which only come from inner city life.  

            For the moment though, Ray was in need of help.  After initial introductions and explaining his presence, Ray told that his car had gotten stuck in the mud and needed some men to go with him and push his car free.  

            “Seems like we are getting a lot of people stuck in the mud around here.  We had another brother get stuck as soon as he arrived just last week.  Seems to be the thing to happen.  But at least you’ve arrived in the right place,” Dave said while shoving his hand into the pockets of his blue coveralls and rocking back on his heals.  Dave’s ball cap hung low over his forehead, but the shadow did not hide the view of his eyes rolling in my direction.  Just how was Dave going to treat Ray?   “Some of you boys go and help Brother Ray.”  Dennis and Wayne started off, and I followed.  Dave called out after me, “Brother Mark, I think two will be enough.  We can still use your help here.”  So I turned back and returned to working on the wood pile.  

            When Ray and the others returned, Dave put him to work with us.  He clearly was not dressed for outdoor work, but did not bat an eye as he jumped right in.  While working, Ray conversed with the men, and Dave was taking it all in.  He could see that Ray was confident and well liked by the guys.  Ray explained that he was here to meet Stair, that he was only going to stay in town until Saturday, and that this was his vacation time.

            “You mean, you came here on your vacation and were not planning to take your wife and kids to Disney World liked most people would do?  Just to see us.  You are unique Brother Ray.  Most folk would not pass up a chance to go there being so close.  You must be a strong Christian seeking perfection in the Kingdom,” Dave said patronizingly.  I could tell Dave was working out a plan to win Ray’s confidence.

            Ray was very talkative.  We learned that he was a trucker at one time, which Dave announced was in common with him.  They did some trucking talk together.  Ray kept asking question after question, and the “older” brothers were eager to answer them all.  They too asked questions of him.  Raptor was the name of the game with Ray, in contrast to what they were trying to achieve with me.  They liked Ray and wanted him to feel welcome.  His city talk and ways was of great interest to these farm boys, having been away from society for so long.  

            Ray talked to everyone eventually while we were working, and finally came around to me last.  He and I hit it right off.  I was not so isolated and he found me familiar to talk to.  We small talked, but since I had heard his other conversations, there wasn’t much left to know about him.  

            When the chain saw work was done, all that was left were the log sections to split.  We stood around taking turns with the splitters until the lunch bell rang out.  It was a lot of fun watching each other, and Ray who had never swung an axe before took to it quickly.  Not only did Ray learn fast, his aim was good.   

            Jacob however avoided the axe.

            “Come on over here Brother Jacob.  You’re from Canada.  Lets see how the Canadians swing an axe,” Dave said joyfully to Jacob.  

            “I don’t think I can do it well,” Jacob insisted.  It was clear that Jacob had never swung an axe before either, and his aim was very bad as he overshot and the handle came down on the log  His first apprehensive swing embarrassed him as the others called out disappointed moans.  

            Dave suggested, “Uh, give Brother Jacob the metal handled splitter, I don’t feel like putting a new wood handle on today.  If an old guy like me can do it Brother Jacob, a young buck like you should have no trouble.” 

            “Yeah, but look how much bigger you are,” Jacob replied.

            Jacob is not strong and each swing made little headway into the log he chose.  But Jacob was now determined, and with every small chip the crowd cheered him on.  Dave interrupted though and showed Jacob where he was going wrong, and split Jacob’s log.  This did not make Jacob happy at all.  He was now more determined to split a log himself.   By the time it was his turn again, all that was left was cherry wood.  Cherry is a hard wood which gave me some trouble.  Jacob swung and swung his axe, but missed his mark every time.  Now Jacob was committed to his log.  He allowed no one to help him.  He held onto his axe while the other men got bored watching and traded turns with the other axe.  

            I observed Jacob at his quest to conquer his log.  It was wearing him out.  His whole identify and self esteem was now transferred to the log.  He must win and split it!

            The lunch bell rang and Jacob was forced to stop.  Only Jacob’s log now was left.  He tucked it under his arm and carried it with him to lunch.  He hid it with the axe in one of the sheds so to return to it later.  

            As we filed in for lunch tired and dirty, we passed a woman on her knees in the wash area working in a bucket.  Dave went and stood over her looking down and asked,

            “What are you doing?”

            “I’m making some soap.”  She was annoyed at Dave’s inquisition.

            “Do you know what you’re doing?”

            “We have some fat to use, so I’m making soap.”

            “Well, get done and don’t make a mess.  Good job,’ ordered Dave.  The woman was not impressed.

            And after lunch, he went straight for it again.  The men stood around him again and cheered him on.  Just as they started to tell him to stop and we were going to move on, Jacob’s desperation was broken when everyone turned to a loud crack!  He had done it.  He had won.  He was sure of himself again and smiling now.  Worn out, but smiling, and we could all move on to the next job.  My heart was relieved for him.

            Meanwhile, Wayne had departed to retrieve the truck and trailer from the loop road and bring it to the shops.  The route he chose took him behind Fellowship hall across the mucky drainage canal still wet with run-off.  Why he chose that route is a mystery because it is more than obvious that the truck would sink in the mud.  Wayne got the whole rig stuck real good too.  All the guys were sent to help.  With all of us pushing, the truck just sunk deeper into the mess.  Simon went and got the big tractor, and with that and all of us pushing, the truck and trailer were freed.  Yes, anyone would have to admit, Wayne made a stupid move.  But no one said a word to Wayne about it.  

            As we were walking back to the shops, Ray decided to bend my ear some more.  Why he likes me is a mystery, but he wanted to know why I acted defiant from the others.  So we walked and talked about the farm and the things I’ve learned since I came here.  I volunteered some neat things I found out about the place.   Ray asked about everything.  

            As we walked by a low setting structure  he asked, “Look at those bones on top of that box.  Why are they there?”

            “They’re probably cow bones.  I was told that they grind them up to feed to the chickens,” I answered.

            ”Why?”

            “Calcium for their eggs I think.”

            “Wow, so how long have you been here?”  He had asked everyone that.

            “Seven days now.”

            “I thought you’ve been here a long time.  Did you come to stay?”

            “No.  I’ll be lucky to finish out the day,” I said low out of the side of my mouth.  

            “I came to see Brother Stair.  I was really disappointed in spending all this money coming here and not getting to meet him.”

            “Oh, you’ll see a lot of him between now and Saturday.”

4

            We arrived at the vehicles where we were going to load up to go get corn again.  Ray continued to ask questions, and Dave had taken a direct interest in us and stood within ear shot.  I noticed it and thought that I might make points with Dave if I acted excited about the farm and complemented Dave and the things I learned.  It back fired.  

            “Yes, I think it is a great farm too Ray.  There’s a lot of neat stuff here.  Look over at that grain grinder.  They have found a way to make it work though it is broken.  See how the wheel....” I started to explain.

            Dave moved toward us quickly, “Brother Mark, we’ll tell him all about that.  Now you just keep quiet.  Brother Wayne,” he called out, “come on over here a minute.”

            The other men became aware of Dave’s movements and gathered around as Wayne approached.  Dave was going to start popping off again.  Ray was visibly stunned at Dave’s outburst of unfriendly attitude.  A circle now formed in front of the shops, and Dave was on stage again.  Dennis was present this time, as were all the men except Marc.  Dave shoved his hands into his blue coveralls and rocked back and forth on his heels.  His ball cap hung low over his brow.

Dave:   You see Brother Ray, this man can’t shut up.  I’ve seen it a hundred times.  Just like in the military a new man comes along and everyone tries to impress him with the set up.  Have you been in the military brother Ray?

Ray:     Yes sir.  I’ve taken two years in the Marines.

Dave:   Ain’t that right Brother Wayne.  It’s always that way.  A new guy comes along and the next newest guy starts running his mouth off trying to impress the new guy on what he knows.  But he doesn’t know nothing.              Brother Ray, this man has done nothing but run his mouth since he got here.  He’s the guy - the other guy I was talking about - who got stuck in the mud like you did when he got here.  Except he got stuck right over there.  Look at all that room and he still got himself stuck.  He’s a fool.  A big old road like this and he winds up in the ditch.

                        Then he tried to tell me how I was going to get him out of there.  Do you know, he wasn’t even embarrassed!  Foolish, pretty foolish.  For instance, how did you feel when you got stuck this morning?

Ray:     Well, I said to my wife, man what a thing to happen.  I said to God why did this happen to me now.  I had to humble down for doing a stupid thing.  

Dave:   See, you got God in you.  That man’s a fool.  No, he wasn’t embarrassed.  

            (I stood my ground without emotion as before.  I watched Ray with curiosity out of the corner of my eye while appearing to listen to Dave.  Dave went around with the other men asking if they made stupid mistakes and were embarrassed.  All of them affirmed.)

Others: Truth.  Praise y’r name

Dave:   But not that man.  He was ordered to shut up from the first moment he came, and he ain’t yet.  And he thinks I have a personal vendetta against him.  But I don’t.  I’m sorry I have to do this in front of you Brother Ray.  It doesn’t give you a good impression I know.  But that man there... You see we have rules around here, and if you don’t follow them, we’ll keep you in line.  This place is like the Kingdom, and we’re all going on to perfection.                   

            (Dave’s attention turned toward the farm.  He started pointing off to various places and reminiscing to Ray how he had built the whole place.  As yet, I had not said a word.  I stood my ground quietly feeling God’s strength hold my temper.)  

Dave:   So you see, I’ve put my whole heart and soul into this farm.  It’s got to work.  I’ll make it work.  Brother Mark, you had better fall on your face and pray to God for forgiveness.  You’re going to hell.  You see those trees over there?  I planted them when I first came here six years ago.  I did it.  And look at them now.  This whole place wasn’t nothing when we came here.  I’ve worked hard to build it and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it fall apart.  

            (Dave then gave Ray more small talk about trucking.  Then he started his scheme on Ray.)

Dave:   Yep.  I know you Ray.  I know your kind.  You see I don’t have to know you to know you, know what I mean?  You don’t have to tell me anything about your life.  I only know that you’re a trucker because you told me.  I don’t even need to know that.  I know that you’re a good man of God because I know all kinds.  Now this fellow here, Brother Mark, if you’re against me, you’re against the Prophet.  And who’s the Prophet?

            (He looks at me and waits for an answer.)  Who’s the Prophet?   Who’s the Prophet?!!

Me:      What are you trying to ask me?

Dave:   Who’s the Prophet around here?

Me:      Around HERE it is said to be Ralph Stair.

Dave:   Right, and if you’re against him, you’re against God.  Now you think we’re all against you because we’ve been standing here for over an hour because of you?

Me:      I don’t know what to think.

Dave:   Well, we ain’t.  And that’s right.  You ain’t supposed to think.  In the Kingdom are you going to say to God,  But God I think...?  No Sir.

                        Now you’re probably thinking to yourself that Brother Stair would never treat you like this.  He wouldn’t.  But Brother Stair ain’t here.  I am.  He’s too much love.  

                        See, he’s a prophet, I’m an evangelist.  I’ve been there where he ain’t been.  So I know a bit about you boy.  I do.  

            (Now Dave was working himself into another fit.  His mind went back to this morning’s encounter.)

Dave:   You said something this morning that was bad.  Very bad.  You owe all of us an apology, and Almighty God who set up this place.  To imply these men serve here out of a created fear is an insult to God.  That’s a cult.  This ain’t a cult.  They serve out of love.  You’re going to hell you.   You know, I could have you out of here right now.   I could place a phone call and have Brother Stair tell you to get out now.   But you see, I have to judge with mercy... so that God will judge me with mercy.   That’s the only reason you’re still here.  You see someone wants to come here and say they hear God talking to them, be spiritual and shock us.  But we’re too smart for that.

Me:      That is a false accusation.  I have never said any such thing.  (Dave was setting me up again to discredit my character to Ray.  I had to respond.)

Dave:   I never said YOU did.  Now some others... We’ve seen it all.  So you just go right on ahead and we’ll see you go right on to hell.   You see Brother Ray, we’re going to eventually have two hundred people here.  We have a lot of work to do before we can take them on, but we’re making ready.  To me, you’ll never find a better bunch of guys than you see standing right here.  They’re the only friends you have in the world Brother Mark.  I guarantee you ain’t never seen a group of guys work harder than they did yesterday.  And you ain’t never worked with any better have you?  No.  Not EVER.  And they don’t do that for money, not even a dime.  They could.  But they do it for God.

Others: Amen.  Praise God.  Praise y’r name.

Dave:   Now that we’ve spent an hour and a half on this,  I don’t know if we even have time to go get corn.  Brother Wayne, you all go ahead.  Try to do as much as you can before supper.

            So it was about an hour and fifteen minutes later we finally loaded up to go glean corn across town.  Ray was in shock.  He had witnessed the very thing he probably never expected.  If Dave’s attempt was to discredit me with Ray, it didn’t work.  Ray stuck close to me for some reason.  Oh, possibly out of curiosity, but maybe he saw the strength God was giving me to stand and still participate with the men.  I am not sure he knows that I could leave any time I pleased.  

            Ray had never been on a corn field before, but he like me caught on quickly.  On the first pass, Ray was placed three rows down from me.  He received no formal instruction except a short explanation of the procedure from Wayne, and he had no trouble keeping up with the bulk of the group.  As usual, the men talked and sang hymns as they worked.  Everyone was being curious to me as if nothing was wrong.  

            On the back pass, Ray positioned himself right next to me.  I tried to avoid it to keep him out of any trouble, but his curiosity was strong.  He spoke to me in very low tones asking questions.  “So you’ve been here only a week?”

            “Yeah.” I answered.

            “You’re from San Diego.  Is that a big city?”

            “Sure is.  But not like from where you come from.  Now you’d better avoid talking to me if you don’t want any trouble,” I warned.  “These folks have been taught not to like me much.”

            “I came here only to meet Brother Stair.  They put me to work.  I don’t have time to spend on a farm.”

            “Oh, you’ll meet him soon enough.  I came here to stay for three months just to learn farming and living a Christian life,”  I whispered.  “My conclusion is I came to the wrong place to meet Christians.”

            “I heard that,” agreed Ray.  

            Ray and I only talked for a few seconds.  We were working and keeping good time with the others, but some how Wayne and Simon were able to work twice the rows twice as fast as everyone else.  They were worried about Ray talking to me and as we were near half way along the pass, Simon came back to us.

            “Uh, Brother Mark.  Why don’t you go help Brother Wayne over in his row.  I’ll finish up your row alongside Brother Ray.”

            Now I know my work was good and I resented the notion that I should go work with someone else on the same row, but it was obvious to me why Simon made this move.  He wanted to separate me from Ray, and talk with Ray in a welcoming manner.  They had to play “spin doctor” with what Ray had witnessed.  

            Still I asked, “Why?”

            “Brother Mark, you’re new at this, and so is Ray.  So I’ll work with Ray and Wayne will help you,” Simon suggested.  Immediately Simon and Ray were into a friendly loud conversation.  Yes, Simon was doing a superb job.

            When we started another pass, Ray again hooked up with me.  This time we didn’t talk much.  Again as we approached the half way point, it was Wayne who came to split us up.  

            “Brother Mark.  Why don’t you go help Brother Enoch in his row.  I’ll finish yours.”

            “Are you criticizing my work?” I asked.

            “Not at all.  I don’t mean to insult you brother. “

            “Then why are you choosing me out like this?”

            “You’re new and need to learn next to an older brother, that’s all.”

            “I don’t see you over there talking to Doug.”

            “Really, it’s the truth,” Wayne insisted.  

            “Sure it is.”

            These guys were being sure to shield Ray and treat him with kid gloves.  I wanted Ray to see my protest so that he would figure that out as well.  Yes, and Wayne too struck up a loud happy conversation with Ray.  Wayne and Simon were acutely aware that he wanted to talk more with me and they did not want to lose him to any influence of mine.  However, I’m most certain that because of Dave’s blunder that Ray will not be taken in too easily by these folks.  

            Upon return to the farm, Wayne drove and had Ray sat in the cab with him.  Ray was to get no more exposure to me.  

7

            Seven days of hard work.  By now I’m running out of clean clothes.  In a round shed near the root cellar I saw a stack of plastic tubs which would be wonderful to wash my clothes in.  Upon returning to the farm, there were a few minutes to clean up before dinner, so I thought it a prime time to retrieve a tub and bring it to my room.  

            Wayne, who seems as Dave to be everywhere, saw me walking off with a tub and stopped me to ask what I was doing.  “Are you taking that to your room Brother Mark?”

            “Yep,” I said, “I thought I could use it for something.  It’s okay isn’t it?  There are a whole bunch of them in there. “

            “Feet hurt do they?  Going to soak your feet?”

            “Not at all,” is said. 

            “Going to put water in your room for washing up in the mornings?”

            “Well, that’s a good idea.”  I wasn’t fooling Wayne.  He knew I was intent on doing my own laundry.

            “It’s okay.  But lets find you another one.  We use those for the kitchen at times, “ he said while beginning to search about.

            “I’ll tell you what, I have a large cooler in my van.  I’ll just use that.  It will work for what I need.  Thanks a lot anyway.  I’ll get cleaned up for dinner. “

            “No problem brother.  Do you think you’re going to last out your time with us Brother Mark?”

            I walked off without a remark.

            When the group assembled for dinner, Dave came to me at my table and asked if I would move and make room for Ray and his family to have their own table.  I sat with Doug and his family.  Dave was dressed up real nice, and he looked as if he put special attention to his grooming.  The whole place looked like it was specially fixed up.  I knew that I was about to watch a big snow job take place.  

            “Well,” started Dave with a cheerful and proud as a peacock tone, ‘this is the first time in the farm’s history we’ve had so many visitors here at the same time.  We’ve never had all the chairs filled like this before.  

            “Brother Ray, I’ll bet you’ve never seen good home cooking like you’re going to eat tonight.  WHENEVER we have new visitors come to the farm, we like to give them the chance to be served first.  Brother Enoch, will you say the grace?”

            Dave escorted Ray and his family over to the serving table while everyone else watched from their seats.  “Look at what we have here,” Dave boasted with his southern accent more pronounced as he pointed to the selections, “home grown beef, corn grits, potatoes and gravy, home made bread...”

            “Boy, you folks know what to eat,” Ray and his wife agreed.  “This is real good looking food.”   

            Funny that Doug and I did not get the same treatment upon our arrivals.  Of course, this was Doug’s second visit.  (Doug must be easily fooled.)   After dinner, on my way out, I caught a glimpse of Dave standing by the milk dispenser tilting his head back to finish a cup of milk.  “Just a man,” I thought.  “Just a poor mortal man who has to eat, drink, see the pot and die like the rest of us.”  Compassion?  Yes.  But just for a split second.   

            The laundry room is located near the school house and I was curious about the method they used to wash clothes.  Did they live true to form and clean clothes by hand?  I went there and found the laundry lady and young Thomas cleaning up the place.  There I saw the old Whirlpool Wringer Washers from the 1950’s.  yes, they were electric washers, but the clothes were run through wringers instead of being spun.  I had never seen this old style washer before.

            The laundry lady was nice to me and explained that the old washers didn’t clean as well as modern washers.   They have a few modern washers, but she said that they were used only for spinning heavy clothes, and that all the clothes are washed the old way.  Now that is ridiculous.  Those old washers use just as much electricity as the modern ones, if not more.  Why would they make it so hard on themselves if they have electricity?  If they were “authentic” non-society farmers, wouldn’t they truly wash clothes by hand?  If they have electricity, I would prefer to take care of my clothes and use a modern washer over a wringer!  Not to mention my back.  Such a paradox here.  Without comment, I thanked her for her kindness and left as she was closing up.

            There was still some day light left, so I ventured over to the chicken coups to watch the chickens and think about the day and my next move.  Dennis came riding up behind me on his bicycle.  

            “Brother Mark, what are you doing right now?”

            “Hey Dennis.  Look, some of the chickens got out.  Lets put them in.”

            “No way man.  That’s Brother John’s job.  It’s not our problem.”

            “Maybe we can keep John out of some trouble,” I suggested.

            “Do you remember that first day I talked to you at the old house when I told you that that kind of stuff don’t work here?  I warned you.  Don’t take no mind of any one else’s stuff, and you won’t get into trouble over it.  Let Brother John get into trouble.  It’s his problem if he can’t do his work.  I warned you didn’t I?  Because Dave has done the same thing to me that he did to you just like what happened before the corn job today. “ 

            “That was nothing compared to what I went through this morning though right?”

            “What?  I wasn’t there.  What happened?”

            “Oh, you missed a good show,” I said surprised to learn that he was not there.  “Was this afternoon the only time you’ve seen Dave get on me?  Where were you anyway?”

            “I got sent to town to buy some stuff.  I get to go to town all the time!” he boasted. “Now what happened this morning?”

            I told him the whole story.

            “Man, I told you.  I knew that you should be quiet and do only what you are told.  I want you to look up a word for me.  Iniquity.  Do you know what iniquity means.  Look it up when you go home and tell me what you find.”

            “I know what it means Dennis.  It means an unjust judgment of action toward someone,” I said.

            “No.  What it really means is doing things out of order.  Not obeying the authority.  Dave is over us and we have to obey.  I know Dave is wrong a lot, but it’s not for us to judge.  I know that you are intelligent, but intelligence doesn’t work here.  It’s just like at the trench for instance.  Dave tried to get on me for talking to you.  I was told not to, but I did.”

            “Dave was watching us while we were on the trench?!”

            “Yeah.  He got all over me.  He asked if I was preaching at you and told me to shut up.  I told him I wasn’t the one, but that you were preaching at me.”

            “You know that’s not true!” I exclaimed.  “Why did you lay it all on me.  No wonder Dave accused me of never shutting up.  Everyone has been laying it all on me!  You lied.”

            “I didn’t lie.  You were talking too.  It kept me out of trouble didn’t it?  So if you just keep quiet when you work, it will go better for you.  I know what I’m talking about.  AVOID INIQUITY.  Stop doing your own thing.”

            “You’re all screwed up Dennis.  I’m not a slave.  I’m a Christian man of God. “

            “I know that.”

            “Wayne is not a slave.  Enoch is not a slave.  Timothy (Simon) is not a slave.”

            “I know that too,” Dennis said.

            “You are a slave.  Jacob, John, Tim, Mike, Doug and Marc are all slaves.  Now Brother Stair talks about the evils of the New World Order and Socialism, right?  Well what you have here is a mini cast society, a New World Order in miniature.  It stinks!”  

            I continued.  “I’m not prejudice Dennis.  You know what I mean when I use this word.  You’ve become Dave’s nigger.  You’re not escaping anything here.  It’s dangerous.  I was talking to John a few nights ago.  You know, he doesn’t even know what it costs to live out of this place.  He hasn’t seen a town since 1991.  If this place was shut down today, I don’t think these people would know how to survive in the ever changing society.”

            “You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Dennis returned.  “I’ve been here since 1989 and I know what it costs for rent and stuff.  Brother John has a four year college degree in finance.  He could go right into Charleston and get a job tomorrow if he wanted to. “

            “I didn’t know that.”

            “That’s right.  There’s a lot you don’t know.  John also left here two times and came back.  The third time he started to leave, Brother Stair went after him.  He cried and everything and broke down.  He didn’t tell you that.”

            This only goes to prove my point.  Too bad for Dennis.  He too doesn’t realize what society has become, how hard it is to find work, and how worthless a four year college degree is.  I’m living proof with my over eight years of “higher” education.  The new information made me even more understanding of John’s ways.  These poor people have been conditioned to operate like children.

            “Dennis, have you ever read the books ‘1984’ or ‘Brave New World’?  This place is pure Socialism.  Socialism is evil against the human spirit.  It is what Hitler and others envisioned for the whole world.”

            “No.  Socialism is good.  It came from God.  It is man who screws it up and makes it not work.  In the Kingdom Jesus is going to rule with an iron staff.  That’s a dictatorship.  Do you deny that?”  Dennis asked cunningly.

            “No.”

            “You can’t say to God I want my freedom, I want my will.  No, that’s what Satan did.  It didn’t work for him.  Socialism came from God.  His kingdom is Socialist.  I know this farm is not perfect, but it’s a small picture of the Kingdom.”

            “That’s not the way I see it.  We serve God freely, and God serves us in spite of our rejection of Him.  If you don’t believe God serves man, look about you at the place he has given us to live on. “

            “Does the Bible say that Jesus is going to rule with an iron staff?!”  Dennis asked resolutely.  “Does it?”

            “Yes.”

            “There, you admit it.  Then this is right.  Discussion over.  This farm is right.  Jesus will rule as a dictator.  Here Dave is the dictator.  He is always right.  It’s the way it is.”

            Dennis road off on his bicycle toward his house.  He was not happy with me a bit, and I could understand why.  “You’re a man Dennis, not a nigger.  Remember that my friend,”  I cried after him.  But he kept going away.

            To live here would be a growing nightmare for me.  In one week I was betrayed many times - by John, Wayne, Dennis, and who else? - for the sake of their own skins.  Jesus tells us to give up of ourselves for our brothers.  All I need now is a definite sign from God that my time here is over, and I’m out of here.  My whole mood was changed.  

8

            I returned to my room where I spent considerable time writing this account.  I finished writing my notes at 22:00.  I got the urge to walk to the school house library to find what kind of books were there.  I saw many familiar titles from history and Christian faith, but almost instantly I noticed a large volume sticking out abnormally which caught my eye. The title is “Larson’s New Encyclopedic Book of Cults.”  How interesting it is to find this book here in the Overcomer library and that it would be sticking out at me.  What’s more, this book appeared never to have been opened.  It is stiff,  but not new on the outside.  I took the book back to my room and read the first three chapters.  The Overcomer is not listed in it.  

            The second chapter was a list of characteristics of cult techniques to hold their members in line.  Much of this dealt with non-Christian eastern religious cults.  At the end of the chapter was a list of three criteria to check against your group to determine if you were involved with a dangerous situation.  Excluding the eastern mysticism, the Overcomer fits ALL THREE criteria.  Further evidence in the chapter also convinces me that prolonged exposure to the Overcomer is potentially dangerous.  The book is too lengthy to quote here.  A list of ten clues is also provided as a check.  Stair’s little kingdom fits SEVEN of the ten!.

            That was it.  I received my sign from God.  It’s time to go without delay.  No more fooling around with these people.  I went back through the chapters and highlighted the important parts I read in hopes some other soul living here will see what I read, and I left it open on the dresser.  It was now about 23:30.  

            In order to avoid John hearing me move around, I plugged in the Overcomer Broadcast.  I packed my things and folded the bed clothes for the wash lady.  I swept the room and tidied it up.   I went out side and put the things in the van and quietly hooked my trailer onto the hitch.  I’m back in my room and ready to go.